My current theme is one that is important for all of us from time to time. I talk a lot about self-care in my teachings and my blogs, because we need it. It’s possible, because I talk about it so much that I gave the impression that I was really good at it and practiced it all time. Sure, I do know a lot about it and I’m super good at giving other people advice about how to incorporate it. But we’ve heard the saying those that can’t do teach? My hope was that if I said it enough, somewhere inside of me would finally hear my words. That being said, I do get on my mat almost every morning and stretch and meditate. Those are great habits that have allowed me to keep my head above water. However, getting through my day was really all I was doing, and for a long time I was ignoring the voice in my heart that was trying telling me that I just wasn’t happy. My work had become a chore, and while still very passionate about the yoga and fitness industry, I had lost my inspiration.
I struggled with this deeply for quite some time as I love the community I was surrounded by, having the chance to work with some of the greatest minds and hearts in the industry and also some of my dearest friends. I do feel like I have so much to offer with Yoga and fitness but came to a standstill in what I was able to do. While I love training and helping new Yoga teachers get started, the long days and travel coupled by endless emails and little rest in between was beginning to wear on me. Chronic back and hip pain had settled in, insomnia was a constant occurrence, and when I did get time with my family and friends I was often too tired to engage or just in a foul mood. Something had to give. The other harder struggle I was facing, and what took me so much longer to process was my identification to my role, and how I felt I was perceived within the industry. Who was I if I wasn’t: Lisa Greenbaum, Director of YogaFit Canada.
This is where my Yoga practice had to come in. Yoga philosophy describes how we become wrapped up in our little “s” self – our prakriti, or nature. What is always changing, vs. what is real and unchanging, our big “S” Self. While I understand this and practice it on many levels, this was to become my real lesson. I spent a lot of time meditating, journaling, reading and really owning what I loved to do every day vs. what I was actually doing. What I was left with was: teaching, writing, connecting with people through both avenues and creating and building business opportunities and helping others do the same. This is what has empowered me in the past and this is what I get excited about. Essentially, just as Napoleon Dynamite describes the key to success, I realized I have skills. I was recently awarded the 2018 Delegates Choice Canadian Presenter of the year award at the world fitness expo just over a week ago, to which I am still completely floating on air about. (for those not in the industry, for me this is my Oscar!) I know without a doubt I am on the right path forward.
And so, with a massive leap of faith, I have stepped down from my role as Director of YogaFit Canada to pursue what my heart needs. To get back out and teach more, to feel more connected to the Yoga and Fitness community in my home city. To have more time with my family and friends and ultimately feel more connected to my-Self. I have had few opportunities to travel without work over the last 8 years, and so this is my first plan (and actually only real plan). An already scheduled trip to Kelowna to look after my niece and nephew quickly fanned out to become two full weeks out here in the Okanagan, followed by 4 days in my favourite city of Sydney, Australia to visit friends and drink flat whites of course. Followed by an epic 4 weeks in Bali with no set plan at all outside of just our first few days of accommodation. The best part, I get to bring my hubby along with me for the full ride and a true reset and recharge. Heal our nervous systems from years of self-inflicted stress and abuse, read books, stare at the sky, explore, sleep in and then rebuild our work lives together in a way that fuels our soul.
I understand that not everyone can just drop their life like this and make massive changes. I know this is not the only solution for when you feel that you are in a rut or not satisfied. But changes do need to be made, even small ones, when your heart doesn’t feel full the majority of the time. So please remember, (because this is something that I always need to remind myself) that everyone’s path is different. I can share this story with you now that it is done, but I wasn’t able to find the words for it before, nor was it appropriate to make a public announcement about it until now. I actually left my role almost two months ago. My husband and I have also after many years of trying (and also another huge stress that has been weighing over us these last few years) have decided not to have children. Between these things, a major life shift has been created for how we now see our future.
I am so grateful for the opportunities I have had by being the Director of YogaFit Canada. I am very proud of the work I have done, the strength of the company as it stands now, the people (staff, trainers and students) that continue to drive its growth forward. I am also excited to stay on as a Trainer with YogaFit, to focus on my first love – education, and to be fully present in this role. Who knows what the future will bring, but I do know that I have the perseverance, drive and passion to get there.
In love and light,