In 5 days I will be married.
It feels strange to say. I’ve heard so many people through the years tell me, you’ll know when it’s the one. I always found that so confusing, mainly because at some point I thought all of my boyfriends were the one. But this time it’s different, I’ve heard that one too – but now I think I get it. I had a “vision” if I can call it that on probably my 4th or 5th date with my husband to be. He kissed me goodnight and in a flash I knew that this would be the kiss I would share on my wedding day. I knew I was going to marry him. I wasn’t in love with him, in fact I wasn’t even sure I really liked him, he was so different from anyone I had ever dated. I struggled a bit, pushed back at him, I was certainly confused yet somewhere inside me I knew that this was it. I never shared this with him until now.
I really never felt grown up enough to get married (yes I am 40) I think I even tricked myself for a while into thinking it wasn’t what I wanted. I never dreamed of my wedding day, or even thought about what it would look like and yet here I am, a week away and it feels perfect. I found my match. Someone who truly supports me, and I know because he texts me that he believes in me randomly when he thinks I need to hear it. Pushes me to stay true to myself and just loves me unconditionally, a love that feels like freedom. In return, I am so proud of the man he is, the father he will become. For his passions and struggles and perseverance to make a difference in the world. A partner: someone to share tears and laughter with (not an invitation for tickling Bob!) someone to come home to, someone to continue grow up with, to practice Yoga with, to share theories of life and love with. To have a celebration day with our family and friends, as certainly a marriage is between two people, but it is also supported by the love and respect of those around us.
We finally picked a “reading” last night for our ceremony, a poem by Rumi:
“The minute I heard my first love story,
I started looking for you, not knowing
how blind that was.
Lovers don’t finally meet somewhere.
They’re in each other all along.”
Special because we both had to go through many obstacles and challenges in life to prepare us for this moment, and for each other, yet at the same time it was as if we always did know each other. We decided not to write our own vows, choosing a more traditional course for our day. But if I were, I guess this would be it – a public declaration, and a wedding gift for my man. I love you baby, I’m so excited to be your wife and continue our life together.
PS – I’m also honoured to live in a country where marriage is between two people in love no matter their race, sex or religion. Congratulations to Ireland on the vote of yes! – Australia my home away from home we are still waiting for you.